Peeping out of the closet

The scene was from a classroom in a school in Delhi. There were boys and girls from the 11th and 12th std attending a session on AIDS awareness. The instructors were two girls not above the age of 30. The words I heard during the session from the mouths of the young boys and girls were sex, vagina, semen, intercourse, menstrual cycles, masturbation, gays, lesbians, condoms..... The students shooted questions on these topics to the instructors and also got mature replies in return.

This was the footage aired during the show We, the people on NDTV last week. The topic was on sex education. Once the footage was shown, Barkha Dutt (the host) asked the panelists and the audience a simple question - How many of you felt uncomfortable watching the footage. And not surprisingly, a lot of hands went up. And most of them were the middle aged and old men and women. The teenagers present in the audience were the most comfortable!

The debate on the show was to understand what sex education to teenagers actually means and comprises of. Are the teenagers ready for it? Are the teachers comfortable imparting this? Are the parents ready to accept that their children need to be exposed to this? What is the most appropriate way to impart this knowledge? Whose responsibility is it after all - teachers or parents? And of course a lot of these questions went unanswered.

But I believe that the first problem lies in the name itself. Is 'sex education' the right term to use? Let us say I am a parent and I see a session called 'sex education class' in my daughter's timetable, what would cross my mind. Does she have to learn all this. The term is misleading. It might give the impression that kids are going to learn how to have sex! But I also believe the damage has already been done. You can call it by any name you want but the thoughts that going to cross the minds of parents is the same. It needs to be understood that what students will learn is not on how to do it, but what is it thats being done. It will clear away myths and doubts in the young minds which might otherwise lead to experimentation that could prove catastrophical. They will learn to respect people of the other gender.

Then again, what is the methodology thats going to be used in the classrooms. There seems to be a 'toolkit' that seems to have been introduced to aid teachers in these classes. I am guessing it contains the syllabus, and some charts and I cant think of anything else. But calling it a toolkit is absurd. What in heaven's name are we trying to repair. Call it a toolkit and there are images of strange devices that cross my mind. And a gentleman in the audience who has looked at the toolkit claims that it's contents are disgusting and closely represents pornography.

But then whose responsibility does it become to impart this knowledge to teenagers. Many might argue that its the parents who should do it. But believe me, thats not going to happen. A survey and a ad-campaign done by an organisation claims that most men are too shy to use the word 'condom'. How do you expect them to teach their kids anything. Then the onus is on the teachers. But are they comfortable talking about this. The cross-section of students in a classroom is varied. There are huge cultural differences. The sensivities of none of them should be affected. I believe only a young teacher, not much older than the students themselves, who is very much comfortable to talk about it in a mature manner and also has the ability to answer queries from students confidently, is the right choice.

What do the students think of all this. Of course they do know that it is necessary for them to be aware of all this. And all the information that they seek is present on one ubiquitous medium - the internet. But it only misleads the young teenagers. Some lingering doubts, leading to some speculation, leading to some experiments and that could end up in problems. But the students are last ones to complain if they have to attend these classes. And I believe that a young teacher will be the one they can easily relate with instead of a old person. A small light moment in the beginning of the class can easily break all the ice and the awkwardness. Like for instance the young lady instructor shown in the footage of the classroom made a remark - 'Whoever you do it with, or with how many ever people you do it with, just remember to use protection!!! ' Now that is not a license for teenagers to philander, but it does change the air in the room. Now the kids are more open to discussion.

What remains is the methodology that needs to be adopted. As one panelist aptly put it - This is not a matter that needs to be decided by the government or any NGO. The parents and the school should jointly discuss and come out with a plan on what should be taught and how it should be taught.' The syllabus can be tailored according to the whims of the parents and also taking in to account the cultural and societal differences present in the classrooms. This will make the endeavour more fruitful.

But are we there yet? I believe that no time is more right than the present. We need to come out of the closet. Jumping out of it is not the answer. We need to understand what we are going to do once we come out of the closet. But at least I am happy to see signs of people peeping out of the closet.