Turning two

I have completed two years in the very much over-hyped IT industry today!!! I would be lying if I said that it was uneventful. When I look back in retrospect, it find that this industry has given me an opportunity to discover some things about myself that I never really knew! And it has paid me cash that at times I find is excessive! And of course it has given me ample opportunities to visit places!

To the outside world the IT industry is the most glamorous among all professional streams. But is it all that enthralling as it is made out to be. Maybe yes. You get paid quite a good amount. The work place is pretty luxurious. The facilities are appealing. All that needs to be done is sit in front of a computer and at times put your grey cells to some stress. Talk over the phone to foreigners, type emails, read forwards, have coffee, blame the food in the canteen, maybe play some games like TT or snooker and at the end of the day go home trying to beat the traffic. If you are smart enough then you will know how to talk to your managers, how to impress the right people, how to get work done, how to show that you are asset to the company, how to make yourself indisposible and soon land up in a promotion.

Stress is often said to be something that takes away the lives of professionals in the IT industry. But then I really do not agree to that. Stress and strain can be very much controlled by the individual and need not be left at the mercy of the company or for that matter, managers. Late working hours, back pain and the numerous ailments that have cropped up in the IT fraternity, imbalance in personal and work life and all the other stuff which have said to have taken away the lives of people in the IT industry . But then the industry alone is not to be blamed for all this. The individual has an equal responsibility.

Leaving aside all this, how do I feel after two years. Well I have learnt that I can do any job. Technical stuff is not something that I am really attracted to. Though people claim that I am supposed to be techincal proficient, I have always underplayed that aspect. I have been least bothered about coding and never thought of improving my domain knowledge. I have centered my work and activities purely around logic. And I have got good opportunities to put my problem solving and debugging skills to test. And I have also got good opportunities to understand if I have the capabilities to manage a project. I have been able to find out how an organisation works and how I would like to run it.

Maybe a couple of years more and then I guess it would be time to move on.......

pS : I really hope people following my footsteps, as claimed by a new reader (see comments section) have got enough motivation to join the industry!!! And getting comments on this and this post was really unexpected!!!

Peeping out of the closet

The scene was from a classroom in a school in Delhi. There were boys and girls from the 11th and 12th std attending a session on AIDS awareness. The instructors were two girls not above the age of 30. The words I heard during the session from the mouths of the young boys and girls were sex, vagina, semen, intercourse, menstrual cycles, masturbation, gays, lesbians, condoms..... The students shooted questions on these topics to the instructors and also got mature replies in return.

This was the footage aired during the show We, the people on NDTV last week. The topic was on sex education. Once the footage was shown, Barkha Dutt (the host) asked the panelists and the audience a simple question - How many of you felt uncomfortable watching the footage. And not surprisingly, a lot of hands went up. And most of them were the middle aged and old men and women. The teenagers present in the audience were the most comfortable!

The debate on the show was to understand what sex education to teenagers actually means and comprises of. Are the teenagers ready for it? Are the teachers comfortable imparting this? Are the parents ready to accept that their children need to be exposed to this? What is the most appropriate way to impart this knowledge? Whose responsibility is it after all - teachers or parents? And of course a lot of these questions went unanswered.

But I believe that the first problem lies in the name itself. Is 'sex education' the right term to use? Let us say I am a parent and I see a session called 'sex education class' in my daughter's timetable, what would cross my mind. Does she have to learn all this. The term is misleading. It might give the impression that kids are going to learn how to have sex! But I also believe the damage has already been done. You can call it by any name you want but the thoughts that going to cross the minds of parents is the same. It needs to be understood that what students will learn is not on how to do it, but what is it thats being done. It will clear away myths and doubts in the young minds which might otherwise lead to experimentation that could prove catastrophical. They will learn to respect people of the other gender.

Then again, what is the methodology thats going to be used in the classrooms. There seems to be a 'toolkit' that seems to have been introduced to aid teachers in these classes. I am guessing it contains the syllabus, and some charts and I cant think of anything else. But calling it a toolkit is absurd. What in heaven's name are we trying to repair. Call it a toolkit and there are images of strange devices that cross my mind. And a gentleman in the audience who has looked at the toolkit claims that it's contents are disgusting and closely represents pornography.

But then whose responsibility does it become to impart this knowledge to teenagers. Many might argue that its the parents who should do it. But believe me, thats not going to happen. A survey and a ad-campaign done by an organisation claims that most men are too shy to use the word 'condom'. How do you expect them to teach their kids anything. Then the onus is on the teachers. But are they comfortable talking about this. The cross-section of students in a classroom is varied. There are huge cultural differences. The sensivities of none of them should be affected. I believe only a young teacher, not much older than the students themselves, who is very much comfortable to talk about it in a mature manner and also has the ability to answer queries from students confidently, is the right choice.

What do the students think of all this. Of course they do know that it is necessary for them to be aware of all this. And all the information that they seek is present on one ubiquitous medium - the internet. But it only misleads the young teenagers. Some lingering doubts, leading to some speculation, leading to some experiments and that could end up in problems. But the students are last ones to complain if they have to attend these classes. And I believe that a young teacher will be the one they can easily relate with instead of a old person. A small light moment in the beginning of the class can easily break all the ice and the awkwardness. Like for instance the young lady instructor shown in the footage of the classroom made a remark - 'Whoever you do it with, or with how many ever people you do it with, just remember to use protection!!! ' Now that is not a license for teenagers to philander, but it does change the air in the room. Now the kids are more open to discussion.

What remains is the methodology that needs to be adopted. As one panelist aptly put it - This is not a matter that needs to be decided by the government or any NGO. The parents and the school should jointly discuss and come out with a plan on what should be taught and how it should be taught.' The syllabus can be tailored according to the whims of the parents and also taking in to account the cultural and societal differences present in the classrooms. This will make the endeavour more fruitful.

But are we there yet? I believe that no time is more right than the present. We need to come out of the closet. Jumping out of it is not the answer. We need to understand what we are going to do once we come out of the closet. But at least I am happy to see signs of people peeping out of the closet.

Busy as a bee

Its friday night. The week is supposed to have ended for all the '5 days a week' people like me. But the week has not ended for me yet! There's work to be done, problems to be solved, code to be debugged and that means that I am going to work all weekend!

But how has work affected my life. Well I have been able to refresh the orkut page only once a day, I have not been able to write any post the whole week, I have not been able to chat with any of my friends and I have not had the time to even call my home the whole week.

'C' goes for a toss, '_' is forgotten and since the day I banished 'W' to hell it seems to be haunting me!

Happy weekend!!!!

Harry Potter - A new beginning

'Tell me one last thing', said Harry. 'Is this real? Or has this been happening inside my head?'

Dumbledore beamed at him, and his voice sounded loud and strong in Harry's ears even though the bright mist was descending again, obscuring his figure.

'Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?'

And that summarises the Harry Potter series. Muggles, old and young, have always been fascinated by the word - magic. Harry Potter has been able to capture that figament of imagination in every soul which finds pleasure fantasising. Mind, not soul, you could say, but as Dumbledore explains, after all in the case of Harry Potter its all the same.

Harry Potter, people say is a phenomenon. Its nonpareil I would say. Have you not yearned to be in a school like Hogwarts. Have you not felt the urge to step on to a broomstick wishing it would fly. Have you not envied the fascinating subjects learnt by witches and wizards. Have you not dreamt of dragons, giants, unicorns, centaurs......

But the Harry Potter series is more than all this. It is the ease with which the author talks about friendship, loyalty, choices, love, and about death that really mesmerises you. "Is is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities." she says. And that is the core essence on which the entire series is conceived. And she handles the notion of death with such a rational perspective that we start looking at it on a whole new dimension.

I believe that she has added friendship, loyalty, love and death in one huge couldron to conjure up a whole new universe that has left every reader hypnotised. And of course the most quintessential ingredient that has made this potion truly remarkable is - 'magic'

After all everything that happens in our mind is reality, the rest is mere fantasy.

Deathly Hallows

Around 6 years back when I went home one weekend I found that my mom and brother were very excited. I hadnt unpacked my stuff yet and they shoved a book into my hands. All they said was - Read it!

When I had finished reading it I realised that I had come accross something that would change my outlook on a lot of things. Magic gained a new meaning, I dreamt of wizards, Hogwarts and Muggles entered the dictionary and I started looking at the broomstick with a whole new perspective! Harry Potter had entered my life.

I remember suggesting the book to friends of mine and creating at least four Harry Potter fans. I remember reading the 4th, 5th and the 6th book of the series on the day it was released and in just one sitting. I remember staying awake the whole night while I read the 5th book. I have read each book at least 15 times. And I am eagerly waiting for the last one in the series.

I have tried not to give in to temptation and download some versions of it thats supposedly available in the internet. I have tried not to read any reviews/spoilers. But will Harry die? Now thats something the world will know for sure tomorrow.

Women and We men

Get a group of women and ask them to crib, they would love to do it. Especially if you ask them to talk against men! I was watching 'We, the people ' on NDTV last weekend and the topic was if women have gained the same status in society as men have. Are they viewed as equals in society and in all professions. Are reservations required for women and so on......

But the debate involved only women in the panel! Even the audience had only a small number of men. And every woman in the panel was of the opinion that women are still oppressed by men. Some were supporting the 33% reservation in parliament for women. And all were relentless in stating that the society still views women as a step lower than men.

Maybe this is true. When you look at cases of groping, molesting, rape and all such instances belonging to the same genre we still find that women turn out to be the victim in most cases. Maybe the situation is improving a lot in the middle and upper middle class but at the lower strata of society the inequalities are more prominent.

But does that mean that we need to provide reservations for women. That is not something I would patronize. The women in parliament is now about 8 percent and the suggestion is to increase it to 33 percent. I feel that is unnecessary. Women who have the willigness and commitment to do something will anyway reach their goals. And this should be on their merit.

It is the mindset of the people that needs to change. Just because a person is a women it shouldnt hinder her from reaching her goals. The society is so conditionalised that it inherently thinks that women are not capable of doing certain things. And thus they looked down upon. And every new generation derives these thought from the previous ones. Unless there is a change in the way women are looked at we will continue to have this debate. As mentioned by one of the panelists in the show,

"This can be best achieved by changing the text in our primary school text-books from

'Father works in the office. Mother cooks at home. '

to

'Both Father and Mother work at office and cook at home'

"

This might bring about a change in the prototypes that we have already internalised.

'C' '_' 'W'

After a very depressing post and being unable to explain to anyone on why I was lost (actually only one person bothered to ask!) my brain and heart decided to find out the reason. Being from the corporate world, one of the things that gets imbibed in you naturally is the ability to carry out root cause analysis! I know thats a lot of corporate jargon but I cant help it! Its been two years since I entered the corporate world. So lets see how my brain and heart carry out the analysis -


Brain : So after recuperating for a week are you ready to understand why all this confusion in life.....


Heart : Of course! So how do we start?

Brain : Well I have already done some ground work and have arrived at three things that bother us a lot. I have abbreviated them. So lets start with the first one - 'C'

Heart : And what is this 'C'?

Brain : What? You know what 'C' is! Its what we want to crack!

Heart : Hmm.......Now i get it.....So whats the next one?

Brain : Well the next one is more closer to you department. Its 'H'......

Heart : Ah! I know what 'H' is......Its Her!!!!

Brain : Good....and you would know 'W' is...Its what we do to get some money!

Brain : So now I have realised that since we have not given these the right priorities we are confused! So I propose that we pay more attention to 'C' from now on. Ditch 'W' for some time and also pay less attention to 'H'.

Heart : The first two i totally agree but less attention to 'H'....why?

Brain : We have met 'H' ten times (yeah its ten now!!!) already and have not done anything fruitful. Why pursue something pointless?

Heart : But you do know that I control thoughts on 'H'. You have no say in it!

Brain : Yeah ......but unless you want to screw up 'C', I suggest that you trigger less thoughts on 'H'.

Heart : Hmm....maybe you are right. Ok done....And we at last ditch 'W' totally?

Brain : 'W' can go to hell! 'C' is the only thing we concentrate on and try hard to keep thoughts on 'H' under control!


Heart : And on a totally different note.......HOW COULD YOU LET THE PRETTY LADY PAY, AGAIN???????

Brain : Dont shout! What can I do? The damn card machine thing didnt work!

Heart : So carry cash you idiot! We cant let it happen again...........

Lost

I am feeling completely lost. The focus is not there anymore. My brain is trying hard to comprehend how to multitask. I might given many lectures on managing time but now I am trying hard to follow what I preach!

One way to avoid this kind of a situation is to learn how to say 'no'. But somehow I end up taking more responsbilities than what I can handle. I want to do everything. I want to please everyone. But in the long run this is never a good idea. Trying to do more than what is possible is going to lead to dissatisfaction.

Somehow the fact that I never trust anyone is hitting me hard. Small activities that I can actually delegate to others is being done by me only because I want to do it myself. This is not only in my work-life but in my personal life too. And this is today affecting my life.

I am looking for motivation and encouragement. Maybe I should take a long holiday. Believe me .... a holiday is due. So that I can unclutter my brain and it can sync up with the heart! Multitasking has never been a quality in a guy and I dont know how girls can do it.

I hope my brain gets the deserved break. Till then I am lost.........

Up's and Down's

06-07-07

Some time back a senior manager of mine had told me " You must work hard and also at the same time be smart enough to create such an impression that in some time from now I must hear from people that they want you to work for them."

This turned out to be the day when I reached that personal milestone in my work-life. In a conference call which invloved my current manager, my architect and me on one side and a whole lot of Dutch people on the other, I heard a Dutch manager say that he would prefer that I work on the project. My manager and my architect smiled at me while I tried to maintain all my modesty and humbleness and continued to stare at the phone. But internally I was completely elated. After all I had reached a milestone!!!




07-07-07

This was the World Chocolate Day. Though being a big fan of chocolate I didnt have any!!!

This was the day the Taj Mahal retained its place in the seven wonders list. Believe me, I didnt bother to cast a vote!!!

This was the day considered to be very auspicious, and a good day for marriage. I am still allergic to the 'M' word!!!

This was the day around 150 artists from around the world performed in around seven countries, trying to spread the message on global warming. The only effect I can see of global warming is that the clothes that women wear these days has become even more lesser!! And why would I then complain!!!

And this was the day I reached another personal milestone. I did a silly thing and made a complete fool of myself!!!

And what in heaven's name was that silly thing? Well, I asked a girl out!

Now I can imagine the bewildered looks on the faces of my readers! But can you imagine the astounded look on my face when I realised what I had done, and most of all I pity the girl as I imagine the flabbergasted look on Her face when She would have seen what I have done!!!

Let us look at the potpourri of expressions and emotions that I went through and the medly of thoughts in my head as I did it.....

I was chatting with Her over a messenger and the conversation had lead to a point where out of nowhere I asked Her out, with very noble intentions of course!!! Lets us see what happened in the next 30 seconds.

And believe me it was the 'longest' 30 seconds of my life......

First 10 seconds :

It took me five seconds to realise what I had just done....I re-read what I had just typed a couple of times! It was true! And for the first time I actually kept my fingers crossed.....


Next 10 seconds :

Some beads of sweat were forming on my forehead, even though it was a windy saturday afternoon! But then suddenly out of nowhere something hit my brain. Did I do the right thing? Was I a bit in haste. Maybe I am putting Her in an uncomfortable position...... But then another part of my brain was constantly telling me - Hey you didnt do anything wrong! But then the sceptic part of my thoughts soon began gaining power! I slowly started feeling that I am putting Her in a dilemma. The comfort level had not been reached. And I had put both of us in an embarassing situation!! Why did I have to do this now?

The last 10 seconds:

Now I was really in a fix? If only She had ignored the message. Is there a way I could remove the message from the messenger? Is there a time turner (like the one in Harry Potter's book) available? After all I need to go back only a minute in time and delete my request! I kept my fingers crossed for a totally different reason now!!!

She then typed Her answer...........

Now what the answer was is immaterial to this blog. It would have been one influenced by various factors. And it is a part of a private conversation. And most probably She is going to read this post! But I couldnt resist posting about it! I really hope She takes both the incident and this post light heartedly and with a sense of humour.

After all I had reached a personal milestone of being a complete idiot, making a complete fool of myself and landing into a embarassing moment!!!

Down memory lane

It was a hot, sultry evening in Madras. I had come to my grandparents place for the summer holidays. I was 8 years old then. That summer my grandfather had this craze of going grocery shoppng around six kilometers away from home every evening. And I tagged along with him everyday on his TVS-50. Though the hot weather never suited me, I always went since the outing was an interesting break and also at the end of the trip my grandfather would get me a Choco Bar ice-cream from Arun Ice-creams. Everyday!

But this one particular evening was pretty eventful. We had just got some coriander leaves and were getting ready to go to the next shop. My grandfather got on the vehicle and before I could get on he went ahead leaving me behind! The first thought that crossed my mind was that maybe he is just taking a turn and will come back to get me. But a moment later when I saw him take a turn at the end of the road I realised that is not going to happen!

Panic struck me for a moment and I tried to run accross the road, nearly missing being hit by a cycle! Now there were a couple of on-lookers staring at me. I realised that it was already too late to call or run after him. I quickly regained my composure and people around me went on with their business.

Now I could have taken some smart decisions. I could have stood there waiting for my grandfather to come back and pick me up once he realised his mistake. I did not do that! I could have walked to my relative's place a kilometer away and given my mom a call. I did not do that! I decided to walk back home! Intelligent decisions have eluded me till date. And you dont expect smart decisions from a 8 year old, do you!!!

I behaved as if nothing happened and started my long 6 km journey back to my grandfather's place. I dont remember much of my journey back home. It was pretty uneventful though. And it never did cross my mind that I might lose my way. I never claim to know all the routes but I do take pride in my sense of direction. And with that confidence I began my walk. I do remember trying to count the number of steps for some time but soon my knowledge of the number systam failed me and I lost interest!

It took me an hour and a half to reach the gates of the house. I entered to see that only my aunt was at home. Of course once my grandfather had realised his mistake and he had come back looking for me only to find that I was not where he had left me! And the panic button had been pressed. Also with the ubiquitous cell phone being unheard of in those times, communication was not an easy thing. Thankfully my mom and grandmother who were just on their way to lodge a report, called up my aunt before doing it and she delivered the good news.

Little did I understand the fuss created that night. I was a hero! They didnt expect me to get lost did they! But today when I look back I realise the tension that would have been prevalent in the house that evening.

My sense of direction has never let me down, be it in Harihar, or in Madras, or in Bangalore, or be it even in Amsterdam, or Paris, or Rome!!!

The ninth meeting

Heart (staring at the post heading) : Why in heaven's name are we taking about something that happened more than three weeks back???

Brain : Because you idiot, If we had talked about it when it happened then we would have given ourselves away....

Heart : Mind your language. And after all there was some match fixing done for this meeting to happen.

Brain : I agree, and I believe it was worth it. Didnt She look beautiful that evening?

Heart : Heavenly. I still regret the fact that I didnt have the courage to tell Her that "She looked lovely"......

Brain : Maybe you should have prompted me to tell her that. Though I cant think of what the consequences would have been.

Heart : Telling a girl that she is beautiful doesnt make you look desperate. Every girl likes to be told that. She might have at the most muttered a thanks.

Brain : But you do realise that if we dont make a move soon then the tenth meeting will be at Her wedding and I can assure you that you wont be the groom.

Heart : So what do you suggest? Do we make a move?

Brain : Hmm.....

Heart : You know we have had this discussion numerous times and never arrived at a decision.

Brain : But during the ninth meeting felt that She did not show any such interest.....So why dont we drop the whole idea?

Heart : What??? And regret at some later time in life that we didnt even give it a try.

Brain : Hmm....dont confuse me now....I am already in a dilemma....

Heart : If you dont clear up your mind soon and do something, the next time we see her will
be in Her marriage and I dont even know if we will be invited.....