What women want

Coming to next two questions that I asked, the answers that I received are as follows :

What is it that girls notice about guys?

- First thing that girls’ notice is looks and dressing. And it’s not at all shallow. Just think. There’s a sea of men. From the outside you can’t make out if they are sweet, intelligent, God fearing etc. So looks, style and dressing are the only things that will help a guy stand out, but only initially. If a guy looks good but talks like a moron, then no girl’s going to bother with him. The smart guy whose not all that dashing might have a tough time coming into picture, but in the long run, he’s a better chance of being liked by a girl. Once they’ve noticed a guy and have started talking to him, girls notice everything from the way they talk to what they talk. Whether he’s funny or not. And whether he’s honest and kind. Honesty and Kindness, huge factors. With ALL girls. Even the way they eat. In the long run things like his education, his future possibilities, his family and his friends also come into picture.

- I notice if the guy is smart, if he talks well, if he dresses well. I also notice if he is talented in something, it may be art, music or simply the way the guy talks. Also I generally notice or observe if the guy is intelligent.

What are the parameters on which a girl judges a guy?

- Most girls judge based on a similar set of qualities, but the priority varies quiet a bit. The usual parameters are: Looks, dressing, conversation, Humor, Intelligence, Manners (How he eats, talks, behaves), Character (honesty, kindness, blah blah), Education, Future prospects and his family background. For me the order is something like this:
1.Education, Future prospects, Current Job, Intelligence
2. Character, Family background,
3. Manners, Humor, Conversation
4. Looks, dressing

- For me a guy need not be handsome to like him. But I really really like a guy if he is intelligent. But this is only the first step. Also if I feel the guy is flirts a lot then its BIG NO NO to him. I generally don’t like guys who keep flirting with girls. This might seem like a silly/strange point, but for me the guy should speak good English. If he speaks broken or grammatically wrong English then I generally will not like him. After this I like a guy mainly by just observing him, if he has some good talent like singing, or getting good marks in exams, or smart enough in doing his job, then I think that he’s a nice guy. One more point is that the guy should have a nice body. Nice body in the sense not upto the level of Salman khan n all, but at least a proportional body. Also I like guys who hav a good sense of humor.


- 1.Attitude.
2. Confidence level.
3. Overall outlook of a person.
4. Whether he is honest or not.
5. His perspective towards life.


It looks like tall, dark and handsome still rules over a lot of other factors. But things like eating habits is something I don’t understand. Its not as if we spill food all over us!!!

Hmm and what is this about honesty that two of them have mentioned? It looks as if girls feel that guys are more prone to cheating. Maybe that’s true. But I guess girls always have that element of suspicion on the guys. What the hell are they bothered about. Even if the guy is in a relationship with a girl he will surely look at other beautiful girls. He will picture them in various ways. All the guy needs to remember is that he needs to be subtle about this and remind his girlfriend that she is the most beautiful girl on earth (“most beautiful girl on earth” – I don’t know what the phrase will be when we discover beautiful girls on a different planet). But honesty is something that ranks high on girls list. Ok what can I do about that. Honesty is still the best policy I guess!!!

PS : Answers to the other questions in another post

Some results

As I look at few of the answers that I got from the survey I find that there are a lot of things that I knew but never realized were important and of course a lot I didn’t know at all.
To start with one girl who did answer the survey started of with her opinion on the reasons because of which a girl would be interested in a guy. The following is an excerpt from her answers:

Most girls like only 10-20% of the guys they meet in their whole life. (Shocking, but true) The rest they either hate (Could be another 20%) or don't like, don't care for, ignore or do not give a damn about. There are also those who are classified as weirdo, irritating etc. Now coming to the guys they like. They like the guys they like for different reasons.

· Because he's helpful and helps her out of difficulties – This might sound manipulative, but a guy who helps usually expects something in return, either the girls help with something or her company or her friend’s company ;-)

· Because he’s good looking/good dresser (Sounds shallow but true) – Everybody likes good looking things. You’ll be surprised that this one of the features that can be highest on one person’s list and lowest on someone else’s. It varies a great deal unlike the other factors.

· Because he’s smart and witty and funny and keeps her amused and she always has fun with him – obviously, everybody likes to have a good time. When a guy is funny, he should also be the same ‘kind’ of funny as the girl or else he might end up on her hate or irritating list.

· Because he’s intelligent and his company is enjoyable as well as knowledgeable. He usually gives sane advice, opinions etc – Most girls like smart company. At least Indian girls do. That’s why unlike in the US in India smart guys or nerds aren’t as ill-treated. In fact they get some kind of respect from all girls. The reason u don’t see such guys hanging out a lot with girls is not because girls don’t like them but the smart guy doesn’t, or because he’s scared to approach.

· Because he’s understanding and shows concern and talks to her about her problems (not gossiping) – Obviously, everyone likes this, goes without saying.

· Because he’s romantic. And makes her feel good by doing nice things for her – Girls are romantic silly things u may say. And it’s true. Once she has decided that a guy is cute the only thing that will convert it to a feeling of ‘liking’ is the hints he gives. And these hints better be romantic.

· Because he gives her gifts (appalling reason but true) – Who doesn’t like getting gifts? For some girls this is some where in the top of their list where as for others too much of gift giving can be a turn off.

· Because he has the same interest as she does so it makes conversation a pleasure – everybody loves to talk. This overlaps a little with the ‘understanding guy’. And one other thing, not everyone goes around ‘looking’ for a relationship. Sometimes they happen and when they don’t most are happy to go around having a great time with friends of the opposite gender. Most people limit their likes to crushes I think. But again that’s my opinion.

Well that I think is very informative. It really tells what a guy should do to keep the girl interested in him. But this is after you have got a girl you need to impress. But how do you get the first in the first place.

When you consider guys what are the first thought that cross their mind when they look at a girl. Well they try to judge her on the basis of beauty. And that’s what is easily noticeable. So what else do you expect from our counterparts. Girls too will obviously notice how handsome the guy is. So the answers to the first question that I asked – When a girl sees a guy what are the first thoughts that cross her mind – were nearly similar.

- I usually rate a guy as wow, good, not bad/OK, bad and uhhh… And I think that’s what most girls do too. You don’t look at the guy and try to imagine yourself in a relationship with him. You just observe, rate and forget. We used to do this in college. All girls would sit and comment on the guys that passed. I’m sure guys do the same ;-)

- If he is a handsome guy, then I’ll be like wow, he’s nice, but that’s it. If he’s not handsome then I look at the way he talks, the way he dresses, and if his vocabulary is good and he talks well, then I think that he’s a nice eligible guy

- First thing that comes across is how’s this guy’s behavior.…

I will post the answers to the other questions in another post

A long wait

And then it started !!!!

PS:

Is she the one?

She still is.....I never give up!!!

Relationships, The journey begins

In order to start the journey on relationships, a topic in which my competence is not upto an acceptable level, I thought the best way forward would be to delve into the female mind. That has been a mystery and will always be. And I am sure a lot research has already gone into it and can be found on the internet. But self learning is a pretty exciting thing and the I thought it would give a lot of pleasure if I could get the answers and form opinions on my own.

So the first step is to get some facts and myths of the female mind out in the open. I penned down (well typed actually) the questions that I could think of to understand the thughts in a girl's head when she sees a guy. What fuels love/hatredness in a girl's mind towards a guy. How is the spark achieved. Though the questions were not organised the friend to whom I sent them to did a great job of organising them and also send them to some of the people (girls of course) she knows. Though I had not plans of actually sending it to more than one girl this might help in getting more insights rather than just one opinion. Let us see if the survey is successful.

PS : I have already received the results from two of them. And the answers did reveal somethings that I never knew. Let me see if the others send in their answers.

Another PS :
Is she the one?
Sometimes crushes blossom and sometimes you get crushed, but I still dont know if she is the one!!!