Stepping Stones Stumbling Blocks

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

"Love = Relationship" ???

I had just seen some pics sent by my friend. There was a girl along with him in some pics. The two were pretty close and I decided to ask him.......How did u end up with a girl like her!!!! We had a conversation over email and this is a part of it

Friend : " Met her during training. Now stays quite close to my place. We go out often. Actually I meet her at around 11 every night after work. Both like each other " ( could actually feel the pride in him!!)

Me ( going green with envy ) : Atta Boy!! Get going man. So when are the "I luv u" pleasantries going to be exchanged????

Friend : " I have already told her I love her. And we are pretty happy spending time loving each other. But we will not have a relationship. "

Me ( Going greener with envy and kicking myself ) : Hey this is every guy's dream!!!! I have no words to say

Yes I really didnt have any words to say but this did set me thinking. Love.....the misused and uncomprehensible word ( atleast to me !) is perceived by different people in different ways. I still remember there was whole section dedicated to this word in the Wren and Martin book on english grammar.

Is it possible for two people to be in love and not have a relationship. Or have I not understood the meaning of this word. Wiki has this to say on interpersonal and intimate relationships.

You could always argue that love is perceived by different people in different ways. Some could use it as a tool or means to achieve their goals. Some could say its an emotion. Some, like me, perceive love as........( here I wud like to quote sunshine from one of her posts......

" Because what we perceive as love is not love. Love has no existence. It is the single-minded instinct to survive, to procreate, to propagate, and to ensure the existence of our species. We have been endowed with this responsibility to go through the painful process of reproduction. Love is just an anodyne to make it bearable.

Love initially is a compatible surge of hormones. Love in youth is the joy of exchanging hushed glances and anonymous letters. Love post-marriage is the responsibility of generation homework and the joy of raising a family together. Love in old age is the need for companionship. Love at different stages of life means different things. We are programmed that way. This is instinct. "

Some people usually try to relate the word love with the people they usually interact with, be with. They say they love their parents, friends, some colleagues at work ( ahem!! hope my manager is not reading this!).

To me its the word infatuation or limerance that holds more significance. This is an emotion everybody can relate to. People might say they have never been in love but they at least once expereinced this feeling " I have a crush on someone or something ". Its a feeling that can be one sided or in some lucky cases, can also be reciprocative.

Then what is that emotion that leads to a relationship. Well thats the topic for another post.

PS : I am looking for her

2 Comments:

  • dude,
    take it slow! i smell some burned guts and rebeliion in ur blogs - i mean see u started off with sex, aids and indian social mindset about them... and now u speak of love and relationship... so ur quieter side has started speaking up eh? good that blogs working for ya... nice going... and who the hell is this guy da??? do i know him... this bloody a** h*** f%^#er got a gf at work place who is cool with 'loving' but no relationship... me going red itching to kill this guy to bring back the liberal balance in the world of loosers...

    By Blogger Rupam Bhattacharya, at 1:09 AM  

  • I think from when we have been college kids i've told u the difference between "I'm in love" and "I love". Based on this difference even the relationship funda differs. I'll be writing a post about it in my blog, and shall soon let u know about it. But I must tell you I'm really surprised ( pleasantly ), that you have foraged into the love forest... And good going.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:31 PM  

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