Current affairs

I may not be a political enthusiast. I dont even have a voter ID card. But the happenings in politics has always kept me entertained. For example the state of the government in Karnataka is beyond comprehension. Of course all the politicians are trying to do is save their skins. One wrong decision from the JDs to not honour their commitment to the BJP and hell has broken loose. Another wrong decision to seek an aliance again with the BJP and now both the JDs and BJP have lost their credibility. Maybe the governor should refuse their proposal to form the government (I dont know if thats possible!). I might even think of getting my voter ID card then.

Till now there has only been one actress I have had a crush on. But I believe in having only one crush at a time (in any category). Now that place is slowly being taken by Deepika Padukone. She looks pretty. She speaks amazingly well. She is able to handle the scrutiny by the media with flair. And I really dont care about her acting skills. As a package she might be the next megastar in the making.

There is something (extraterrestrial?) being seen in the Kolkata sky. Now as a news channel I would not be even paying any attention to it till I gain some credible evidence on what that object is. But Star News seems to be making a big deal out of it. And the other big guns like NDTV and CNN-IBN seem to have completely ignored it. But what I realy cant understand is why Star news is not able to arrive at any conclusion on the matter. We have enough technology to quickly what that object is. And all Star news is doing is to speculate. I am surprised.

Then again. A UFO has always been one of my many fantasies. I fall into the category of people who believe that there is life on some planet other than earth. And I am a big fan of the movie Independence day. Of course I dont want aliens bombing our cities. But I wouldnt mind them landing their spaceship on the bare piece of land right outside my house. I have had enough of the earthlings. Maybe the aliens will even be able to shed some cosmic light on the happenings of the Karnataka government.

1/4 life crisis

A friend of mine had made a remark some time back, "I think I am going through a quarter life crisis." Back then I had wondered what that could mean. Now I know. I am getting the feeling that I am deceiving myself. Am I really being what I want to be.

I have always portrayed myself as a happy person. A guy who is contended with what he is doing. A person who has always taken rational decisions. A person who always knows what he is doing. A person who has set his goals and is on track to achieve them. A person who actually knows where he is headed. I have always painted a rosy picture.

But today let me be honest (to myself). I am heading no where. If someone asks me the question what I want to do in life, I have no answer. I have no answer to the simple question - Where do you see yourself in a couple of years from now. Even if I answer - maybe as a technical leader in the same firm where I am now, I still do not have the answer to the next question - Is that what you want to be.


I do not know where I lost the way. I think it was during the 3rd year of engineering. That was when I took some decisions that I felt was right. But from then on to back it up I have taken one wrong decision after another every year. I agree that you must always stick to your decisions and strive hard to achieve what you want to, but then at a point in time you realise that you have strayed off the path.

So what has gone wrong. Is it the job, is it love, is it social life, is it academics, is it on passions or is it just life in general. I think it is all of it. I may be in a good job but this is not what I want to do. Today I may be doing new things but not learning anything new. Love - I wont even talk about it. I have been a pathetic loser in this area with no courage to approach the one I love. Social life - Since the last 8 months this has come to a standstill. Academics - I seem to have lost the way here completely. Passions - There are some things I really want to do but I seem to be putting no efforts to achieve them. So what can be said about life in general - crisis.

I have reached a significant junction in my life. I am at the cross roads where I need to take some decisions that could bring about some changes to my life. I can choose the straight path, maybe go left or maybe right or maybe I can carve my own path or dig my own grave. I cannot paint a rosy picture anymore

Spy kids

Last week I read this article in the supplement bangalore times (yeah I read it too....not just look at the pics) where it mentions that parents actually hire investigators to spy on their kids. It mentions that the detectives work full time on occassions like navratri when a lot of the teenagers get together especially during the dandiya. The parents fear this is the time when things could get out of control and the kids might cross the line.

What #$%^ is this (i am not going to use expletives on my blog). The only person who is gaining anything here is the detective. The moment the parents start spying on their kids the relationship has ended. And the losers here are the parents. If the parents have lost trust in the kids then the parents are to blame. They have not done their best in instilling the right values and discipline in their kids. The kids need not be kept on a tight leash but need to be guided in the right direction.

And hiring a detective is never going to help in any way. Are the parents then going to confront their children with evidence! Why bring a third person into a family affair. It only shows that the parents are incompetent in bringing up kids. And if they have failed in doing it then its better to just talk to the kids and give the children the freedom to choose whats right and whats wrong. At least then the relationship will stay intact.

I want to.......

There are a lot of things that I want to do.

I want to be a journalist. Yes you heard it right. It may sound naive but I want to be at a place where all the action is. No I am not keen on reporting from the war zone like Iraq! But I want to be exploring places and writing about them.

I want to work in a call centre for some time. Maybe for around a year. It should be in the night shift. No I am not looking for any action here! But I am sure the experience will be one that I will cherish.

I want to be a child psychologist. When you observe a baby grow up you will see that every
move that it makes it is trying to learn something about this world. The way it learns by just using the senses like touch, sight, sound and smell itself is really a miracle andI want to be studying it.

I want to be travelling around the world. Apart from visiting places in India there are a lot of countries on my list which I dont want to miss. How I am going to do it is something I have not worled out yet.

When I actually meet the girl of my dreams I want to be able to tell her that she is the one.

I want to tango. Just like Al Pacino did with the girl in the movie Scent of a woman on the dance floor in the hotel. Of course it is going to be tough even with my vision intact!

I want to do some community service. I may be too selfish to actually leave my job and join a NGO. But I am sure I will be able to do my bit for the society.

I want to change my job every 3 years. No I do not mean change in the company. I want to change my role and work in completely different areas. Some of them fully non-technical.

Though I want to do a lot of things and be a lot of things, I find that these are just whims. I might be able to do some of them. But maybe around thirty years from now I might read this post and just smile at my childish dreams. Then again, no dream too big!!!

Argumentum

Some time back I attended a lecture on critical reasoning. And I was amazed to find that our entire life is based on arguments. We put forth our arguments based on certain premises, under some assumptions. We then try to infer something. In the process we make judgements and state some facts.

If I say "I love her", it may be the argument I am stating. It may be based on the premise that "I am physically attracted to her" and under the assumption that "If I am physically attracted to someone then that means I love her." When we try to critically reason out our arguments then we may be able to find meaning in a lot of things that we say.

But what really caught my attention was fallacies associated with these arguments.

Now if someone else also says, "I love her too" and I reply, "How can you tell that, you are a big idiot and not the right person for her", then my argument is again a fallacy. I am attacking the person rather than the argument. Its Argumentum ad Hominem - It takes the form of attacking the character of the person to reject an argument, rather than attacking the argument itself.

If I say "I need to have a girlfriend because everyone in the world has one", then thats again a fallacy. Its called Argumentum ad Populum - It states that an argument is valid simply because a suitably large number of people think it is true, or approve of it.

If I change my argument again and tell, " I need to have a girlfriend because my friend (who is a very famous person by the way) says thats its the 'in' thing these days". Then thats again a fallacy. I am basing my argument on some famous person's opinion. Its Argumentum ad verecundiam - It states that an argument is valid simply because its supportedby some prestigious people who cannot be wrong even if they do not hold any expertise in that particular area.

Now let us move on a bit further. It I state, "She just smiled at me, I think she loves me." Then its a fallacy. I am assuming that she has fallen in love with me just because she smiled at me even though there may not be a link between the two. Its Post Hoc ergo Propter Hoc - It assumes that if one event occurs prior to another, the former must be the cause of the latter, even though no casual link is established between the two.

Then if I say, " I think I have fallen in love, maybe thats because I have nothing better to do " . Thats a red-herring. I have introduced something thats irrelevant to the main argument. And its red herrings that divert people's focus away from the original issue.

Identify the fallacies in your arguments and many things will fall in place!

On a high

Some time back I had a one-on-one with my manager. That is corporate jargon for timepass talk with your boss. She asked me a question, 'Are you motivated enough?' My answer at that time was 'I only believe in self motivation and I think I am doing good job there'

Though I gave that answer without really giving it some thought, I later started contemplating on that answer. I have always believed that self motivation is the most effective form of motivation. You could argue that rewards or recognitions for your work, a few encouraging words from seniors and a pat on the back always help. But these happen occassionally. There needs to be driving factor for you to work and that can come only from you.

So how do we keep ourselves motivated. Some simple things can help. Dont complain about your work. I have noticed that when people are asked the question, ' Are you happy with your job?', 7 out of 10 people give a negative answer. And that answer itself can demotivate you. Its a job you have chosen. So there is no point complaining. Ask yourself the the same question and if the answer is negative, then it clearly indicates that you need a change. Continuing in the job will only make you more miserable.

The moment you think you have stepped into a comfort zone, step back. The comfort zone is one area that will keep you happy for a while but then frustration takes its toll. It is the most dangerous regions to be in. You will not be challenging youself since you are working on something that you are an expert in. That is the time to step back, introspect on what you can learn new and move to more challenging domains.

Learn to say 'I dont know'. We have this tendency to please everyone and that leads us to accept undoable tasks. This is a top demotivater. Unless we accept that we dont know something we will always overstrain ourselves. But the most important thing is to add a sentence to 'I dont know' and that is ' I will learn/find out.' This will increase the respect that the manager has on you and will boost your confidence level.

Your job should not be the only thing that you wake up in the morning for. I have always talked about time management and work-life balance. Indulge in some activites other than work. Then work becomes only a part of your day, the pressure eases and your job automatically becomes more enjoyable. Pursuing a hobby that takes your mind off your job is a refreshing change.

Some may not agree with this, but I think an office crush always helps. I am not saying develop a crush on someone at work. But keep your options open. Your enthusiasm to come to work everyday automatically goes high. You will have something to look forward to when you come to office every morning. But keep it professional and dont cross the line. Believe me, it helps.

Now that I have motivated myself by writing this post, let me get back to work. And I dont have an office crush.

The Others

I think I was 11 years old. I was walking along with my parents and they were talking about marriages. I was not paying any attention at all. Suddenly my father turned towards me and said, ' We dont mind who you marry....any caste .... any religion....I dont care.' But then after a pause he added, 'But if Muslim...we will have to rethink...'

This incident crossed my mind when I was watching We the People on NDTV last night. The topic of discussion was on the tolerance levels of Indians towards inter-caste/class marriages and it was centered on the Rizwanur case where a lower middle class muslim guy(Rizwanur) marries a rich marwari girl(Priyanka) and then gets harassed by the police and finally is murdered (allegedly) with the main suspect being the girl's father. I will not comment on his death which is being debated upon yet to find out if it was suicide or murder.

But I was wondering how tolerant is today's generation towards inter caste/class marriages. Is it still being frowned upon. To understand that I asked myself some questions. Would I marry a muslim. Maybe I will think 10 times before I actually fall in love with a muslim. Though love is known to be blind (and I dont agree) I still think I will not be that blinded. What about a christian. Maybe I will not think 10 times. Maybe just 5 times. What about a hindu but maybe from a totally different caste. Now I am not sure what castes/sub castes are present but I think castes within a faith wouldnt matter at all.

Does class make a difference. Maybe an extremely rich girl falls in love with me (if only.....), of course it does not make any difference to me! Maybe class does not make a difference at all. I may represent a miniscule of the population but I think most of the readers of my blog will have the same opinion as mine. But what will my parents say. Inter - faith marriage, I may have a lot of convincing to do. Inter caste marriage - I will have some convincing to do. Class may not make a difference. But I am sure I will have the freedom to choose.

What would I say to my children. Let us say my daughter wants to marry a muslim guy. I may not outrightly reject it. But I am sure I will ask her to think twice. I guess I will be more liberal and open to such relationships than the older generations. Of course Indians have this tendency to speak something on stage and hold a totally different view within the closed walls of their homes. But I am sure I will not go against well thought out decisions of my children.

My thoughts represent a very minute category of the Indian population. Faith, caste and class play an important role in our societies even today. We may ape the western world in many ways but in India marriages still remain a bond between families and not just individuals. And when we have so many stakeholders in a marriage, cross cultural marriages become a challenge. We may become more tolerant and liberal in our outlook towards inter caste marriages and maybe the line between faiths will blur. But the day when fathers will look for grooms for their daughters across faiths is a distant dream.

The saree is dying.........

It was ethnic day at my office yesterday. I didnt wear anything ethnic though. And I dont even know what I could have worn. Maybe some dothi kind of thing and nothing on top! And I guess the ladies would have filed a case of harassment and the HR would have printed out the pink slip with my name on it!

But I noticed something. The good old saree is slowly dying. I thought the saree was the staple dress (I dont even know if we can use 'staple' for clothes) for the people south of the vindhyas. My mom wears it everyday. All women of her generation still wear it. But thats where it stops. The younger generation has ostracized it. They bring it out only on occassions when forced by their moms and always keep cribbing all day telling how uncomfortable it is. I will not comment on its comfortness as I have never worn it.

But I observed that girls look really beautiful in the saree. I am not trying to objectify women here. The younger generation wants to wear jeans and short tops that sometimes does not fit a 5 year old. And they keep pulling the top down a dozen times a minute. Dont wear short tops if you are not comfortable. Just try on the saree and look into the mirror I would say. The lesser that is revealed the better. Believe me, the guy (supposedly corrupt and narrow minded) is more attracted to the girl when she reveals less. And a saree can help achieve that.

For today's women the saree may be a pain to wear. And that might be true. But I think the saree should not be banished. Dont kill it is all I am saying.

Guest Post

Some things happen out of the blue. For instance one of my readers sending in his guest post when I least expected it. I need not introduce Rupam as he has done it himself very nicely. So here it goes.........

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It’s been a while since I promised Srini that I shall write a piece for his blog. Of all excuses/reasons for not obliging within “scope” and “time”, I would have to say not getting/cooking a topic to write about wins over other petty reasons like laziness, etc. Does that mean I have one now? No, not at all. But, sometimes boys act like men, feel the obligation, get surrounded by nothingness (in short get bored) and the urge to reflect back (nostalgia may be) make them do weird things; one of them would be writing this.

Honestly speaking, the number of times my name has appeared here, here and here, I must say it does a lot of good to my morale. In short - makes me feel good, in a way proud. Don’t ask me why. Somehow writing all this seems corny to me, and right now I have a sheepish grin on my face and still contemplating should I delete these lines and start again. Such is my maturity/immaturity. Anyway, a lot has been said in Srini’s blog regarding our good old college days which makes me feel just one thing – time well spent! So it is my turn now to dig on those days once again.

Well, now you might argue that this could have been done long back and my excuse stands void. But, here’s an interesting piece of information. My memory is short! Unlike Satyakam, I seldom remember exact historical events. Satyakam can recount exact conversations, aesthetic setting and the facial expressions from days long ago. If you know the latest buzz word of “Multiple Intelligence”, Memory is prime requirement of all types of intelligence (linguistic, spatial, analytical, etc). No wonder, God gifted him with super memory (and heightened sense of smell :D) in lieu of energy to actually apply his brains (catch 22 eh!). Explains his laziness and lack of humour (Satyakam, this is where you should pick your cell phone and call me). Ah well I haven’t explained the humour part yet. So, let me explain. The most important requirement of a humorous statement to be really funny for a guy (ya guy, coz for gals it really doesn’t matter) is its novelty of the joke to that individual. This is where, memory plays a big part. You can tell me the same joke every Wednesday and I shall still laugh my ass off as if it was the first time. For likes of Satyakam, Coupled with intelligent pattern recognition (among different jokes) and super memory, by the time you are 25, chances are that almost all jokes turn out stale. You see where I am getting? No? Well ignorance is bliss! (…and funny)

But, it is not about pros and cons of memory that I intend to enlighten you upon. I wanted to tell you my perspective of college days. In a way, I have already mentioned about Satyakam and I shall move onto other aspects before he forms fatal opinion about how to get me killed. Talking about college days, what binds Srini and I are PESIT hostel, hostel mates and mindless long hour discussions in our hostel rooms. Among, other PESIT hostel survivors the first few I can recollect are Advith, Santa, Nagaraj, Sourav…

I will keep it short about them, because I recognize that most of Srini’s readers are not from PESIT/Hostel.

Advith = Business! An ardent movie fan, my Bangalore’s guide, the guy who introduced us to national market and Kabab Magic! He seems to have vanished suddenly, so have we all. But, Srini’s blog is one such avenue, where we can find us back.

Santa = Sports! “Gentle” soccer player, amazing concerntration, and his latest feat – married!

Nagraj Iswar Joshi = Religion! Brute religious, inescapable simplicity and disciplined. Somehow I fear that all this good things about him is holding him back from achieving greater heights. But, I doubt if we both have the same scale to measure heights.

Sourav = perfectionist! Master planner, “precise” in many sports, and other aspects of life. But, presents a picture of an anti-dreamer, holds himself back from full flow – unless we are talking about top spin in TT or a cross court volley in tennis.

And all this, leaves me thinking about Sriniketh. If I had to equate our blog’s protagonist in one word, what would it be? If I think hard, I would say Practical, Smart, “Appa! This_is_irritating_yaar” and many such words. But, what struck me first was “Dreamer”. I can’t say for sure why, but that seems to be my image of Srini. Now, lets try some reasoning. All I can think of our discussions with Srini (apart from the ones where we frantically tried making Srini talk about girls) I would have to say, they were all futuristic. We often discussed what “enough” is and how we saw ourselves in many years from then. What would truly fit into our definition of “life well lived”. In a way, we dreamt together. He might have told you a number of times how being an IITian/IIM grad/MS is important in getting a “suitable” tambrahm bride, but believe me this is definitely not his reason of making it big. Talking in Freudian terms, I have seen the lust for success in his eyes, and his urge to go beyond the “average”. But all this without taking it to any extreme. By that I mean, he is not a drifter (some would say I am a drifter). He wouldn’t flow with imagination such that it crosses over from a realistic ambition to wishful utopia. Neither would he think of his dreams in dismay, as if it’s too much to ask for. “Balanced” – yes I got another word for him. Guess I need to stop. But, before I do so, most of you who don’t know him that well, he might come across as the non-sporty type – but just wait to see him play tennis. He also carries his Harihar simplicity to this day. Amsterdam, Eindhoven or Bangalore has not corrupted his true self as he continues to see the brighter side.

Well, there’s a small pact between us, whoever gets his company started earlier would recruit the other as a “high end dude”. You know like CTO/CFO/COO etc. Talk about Dreamer huh?


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