On the negative side.........

Give us 3 reasons why we shouldnt select you?

And I was stumped. This was the first question that one the panelists asked me. It was the beginning of 30 minutes of my first stress interview. I was taken aback and for a minute tried to figure out which of my weaknesses should I now reveal.........

I am not going to recount what happened in those 30 minutes. It was a disaster but I came out with a smile. I couldnt recall the name of the president of Bangladesh but could immediately answer who the girlfriend/wife of the president of France is!!! Later that night I reminisced on my last 2 months. It had brought to the fore all my weaknesses. Some I didnt even dream of. Some things that I had thought I was good at let me down. The last couple of months have been an eye-opener!

My 'presence of mind' quotient is really low. On absolute terms it may be pretty good, but relatively when I compare it with people I have interacted with in the last few months I find it very inadequate. I have never been an impulsive person. But at times when posed a question out of the blue I dont always give the most appropriate answer. I dont know how I could improve on this. Or if I ever will........

Some decisions that I take are a bit too late. Maybe I deliberate a lot. Maybe its the low risk nature that contributes to this. Though a well-informed decision is the best one, at times a little bit of risk is really necessary. I may have missed out on a lot of things due to this. But this I can improve on......Doesnt mean I am taking risks from now on!!!

Sometimes I panic. Surprising, but true. When in a scenario where I have committed a mistake that I could have avoided, I find myself very frustrated. And my mind doesnt immediately look for ways to set things right since the only emotion in me is frustration. For some time this clouds my ability to think rationally. Panic immediately follows. I usually take some time to get over the thing and start making amends. But the phase of panic can be surely avoided. Maybe I will learn with time.......

Maybe all the three stated above are related. At times I feel I need to work on these to make myself a better person...........

Aligning the stars.....

It was 5 in the evening and I was staring at the computer screen. I had just typed in my roll number and was looking at the result. It did not come as much of a surprise. I had been rejected. Maybe the stars were not aligned...........

It was 9 in the night an I was on the bike trying to cut across the road from the left to the right side. I had turned on the indicator and turned back to look at the road behind. A bus was fast approaching and thus I took the turn. Out of nowhere I collided with a scooter coming from behind. It was carrying a family of 4, including 2 small girls. Nothing happened to anyone. Though it was not entirely a fault of mine I apologised immediately. The lady on the scooter immediately said that it was not a problem and we could move on. I looked at the small girl standing in the front and thanked god nothing had happened. I thought about the whole incident. Maybe the stars were not aligned....

It was 10 in the night and I looked at cocktail in front of me. It had a pinch of vodka in it. I took a sip and realised that I had broken my resolution of not touching alcohol again. Maybe the stars were not aligned.......

It was late in the night...or was it early in the morning. I dont know. I was looking at the words that I had typed in the box on the computer screen. I read the sentence a couple of times. Was this the time to press the enter button. I deleted the sentence and rephrased it. Again my finger was lingering over the enter key. If the message was delivered then a lot could change in my life. I got up and took a short walk in the room. Was this the right time to ask. I went back to stare at the computer screen. I deleted the sentence again. It would have to wait. Maybe the stars were not aligned.......

A day to love.......

It is that day of the year again. People are celebrating love......
I may have understood what love is. But I still cant comprehend why we should dedicate a day to it! Let us see what could be running in the minds of people today.....

A couple with the age in 50s and a daughter in her 20s.....
Guy looking at his wife and thinking : Ah Valentine's day.....How lovely she used to look back then. Anyway I need to find out what my daughter is doing tonight. I cant believe she is going out with some stupid guy.....

Lady looking at her husband and thinking : Hmm....he seems to be checking me out. It looks like I have not lost my charm even after 25 years.....Maybe he will take me out tonight.....

A couple in their 30s with a daughter just 4 years old......
Guy looking at wife and thinking : Ah Valentine's day.....She still looks lovely.....Why is she looking at me this way....Maybe she is expecting a gift. I think I should get her some flowers in the evening.......Or maybe take her out for some ice-cream.....

Girl looking at her husband and thinking : Hmm....Is he planning to get me something. Maybe he will take me out on a romantic dinner and then present me a diamond chain.....


A DINK in their 20s...........
Guy looking at wife and thinking : Ah Valentine's day......I cant believe we are married....Just last year I proposed to her......What should I get for her....Am I even supposed to get her anything....Hmm....I am so confused.....

Girl looking at her husband and thinking : Hmm.....Why is he looking so confused....I think he is thinking what gift to give....

A guy and girl who have just started a relationship....
Guy thinking : Oh no valentine's day.....Now what should I be doing. Am I supposed to give her anything....Should it be expensive.....Is she even expecting anything.....We are not even engaged....Maybe I should ask her if she wants anything....What if I get her something and she doesnt like it....These girls are crazy....So much pressure......Stupid Valentine.....

Girl thinking : Ah Valentine's day....Lets see what he does......

And thus we celebrate love!!!

Will you marry me?

A friend of mine was just mentioning to me the other day - Why dont you just pop the damn question to her and get it over with. As much as I would love to do that it is not what I am discussing today. Rather I want to look at the Law commission's proposal to set 18 as the minimum legal age for males and females to get married and 16 as the minimum age for consensual sex.

Let me consider the lowering of age for boys to get married. When I consider the urban or rural middle class I would say that 18 is still not the right age. My brother is 18 and I am sure he is too young tie the knot. The age of 21 that was previously set as the minimum would still make sense. That would ensure that the guy has had ample time to comple the necessary education and has had an opportunity to understand the meaning of the words commitment and responsibility.

But then the age set for guys is not that debatable as that of the age for girls. Now the age for girls has not changed. It remains 18. Many argue that this was an opportunity to increase this age, to say 21. It would now make more sense to look at this categorically. With the lower classes in both urban and rural areas this could ensure that girls would now be forced to study after the 12th std and mariage is not an option till they graduate. For the middle class it may not make a difference. Even though many would argue that a girl is more mature both physically and psychologically at 18 than a guy, forcing the age to 21 may actually turn out to be a boon for the girl. It might give more time for her to develop herself as an individual.

The above may sound good, but considering the masses it is actually very tough to raise age to 21 for girls. The plethora of variables that impact society makes it almost impossible to raise the minimum age to 21 for both boys and girls. Also this age needs to be in sync with the other laws like the child marriage act. And the law does not state you need to marry at 18. It is only setting a minimum. And I believe that the minimum age has been set after a lot of research at the ground level. But in effect the law has not changed anything much by lowering the minimum age for guys.

Maybe by setting the minimum age for consesual sex at 16 it is trying to bring about some change. But I guess this clause is more of an aid to rape cases than anything else. After all marriage can be monitored but sex between couples cant be.

So whats the right time to pop the question. Personally I feel 24-26 is the right age for girls. It can be 25-28 for guys. But who listens to me.............

The next one....

The next call ........

For once I dont have to go to the college for the next round........

Will I be able to convert even one of them?

That remains to be seen...........

The race.....

I know I can screw up a lot things (sorry for the language). But there are some things that I have always believed I can do well. So it came to me as a shock that I can actually screw up a discussion and an interview.

Let me focus first on the group discussions. I thought I was being a professional by not interrupting when a person is speaking. Thats a mistake. There are very smooth ways of cutting through. And it took me 2 such discussions to understand that its an art. Also the right amount of agressiveness needs to be shown. If not then you dont create the right impact. Being in the corporate world for nearly 30 months conditions you to behave in a certain manner. You tend to assume that you views will always be heard. That could happen in a team meeting in your company but not in the GD of a B-School addmission process. You have got to make yourself heard, with all the members speaking at the same time.

Lets come to the interviews now. This I always thought was my cup of tea. I realised how wrong I was. I once again screwed up big time in both the interviews that I had. This time my weak presence of mind did me in. As I walked out of both the interviews I realised I wouldnt select myself. Then how can I expect the panelists to select me.

There is competition out there thats fierce. Everyone wants to make an impact. Everyone wants to prove that he/she is better than the competition. One way to reach the top is to pull the competitors down. Even though that sounds like the most unethical thing to do, it is what everyone is doing. And it takes a lot more than just smart thinking to counter the attack. It is this competition that pumps the adrenaline. It is this competition that keeps you going.

My dream of an MBA this year looks very bleak. But I wont claim that I have wasted a whole year. I enjoyed trying. I enjoyed preparing. I enjoyed writing the mock tests. I enjoyed the GIs/GDs/PIs even though they were very few in number. Now its time to re-plan, strategize. After all the race for 2008 is beginning..........