1/4 life crisis

A friend of mine had made a remark some time back, "I think I am going through a quarter life crisis." Back then I had wondered what that could mean. Now I know. I am getting the feeling that I am deceiving myself. Am I really being what I want to be.

I have always portrayed myself as a happy person. A guy who is contended with what he is doing. A person who has always taken rational decisions. A person who always knows what he is doing. A person who has set his goals and is on track to achieve them. A person who actually knows where he is headed. I have always painted a rosy picture.

But today let me be honest (to myself). I am heading no where. If someone asks me the question what I want to do in life, I have no answer. I have no answer to the simple question - Where do you see yourself in a couple of years from now. Even if I answer - maybe as a technical leader in the same firm where I am now, I still do not have the answer to the next question - Is that what you want to be.


I do not know where I lost the way. I think it was during the 3rd year of engineering. That was when I took some decisions that I felt was right. But from then on to back it up I have taken one wrong decision after another every year. I agree that you must always stick to your decisions and strive hard to achieve what you want to, but then at a point in time you realise that you have strayed off the path.

So what has gone wrong. Is it the job, is it love, is it social life, is it academics, is it on passions or is it just life in general. I think it is all of it. I may be in a good job but this is not what I want to do. Today I may be doing new things but not learning anything new. Love - I wont even talk about it. I have been a pathetic loser in this area with no courage to approach the one I love. Social life - Since the last 8 months this has come to a standstill. Academics - I seem to have lost the way here completely. Passions - There are some things I really want to do but I seem to be putting no efforts to achieve them. So what can be said about life in general - crisis.

I have reached a significant junction in my life. I am at the cross roads where I need to take some decisions that could bring about some changes to my life. I can choose the straight path, maybe go left or maybe right or maybe I can carve my own path or dig my own grave. I cannot paint a rosy picture anymore